This is a controversial adult answer. Please skip if you get offended easily.
In a nearby village, parents of the only daughter were searching a man for their daughter. They found a “good” one after 6 months. In my region, a man who has more than 10 acre land is seen as wealthy. In this case, the groom had 50 acre farm land, 3 tractors, 20 cows, 7 plots, two big homes, two four wheeler and two wells.
The girl's parents thought their daughter would be happy forever as the man is richie Rich. However, the girl was least interested in marriage as well as the man. The parents thought many girls initially don't like their husband but later on develop a bond with him and live happily. It's like love follows marriage philosophy.
Due to pressure of parents and relatives the girl surrendered and got married. After marriage, she quickly became closed to everyone and won everyone's heart, including her husband's. However, there was an issue. She used to resist whenever her husband touched her. The husband thought it's new to her and she must be shy and scared.
This continued for 5 months. After five months, the husband realized that she is going to resist forever. Slowly the conflicts that used to happen via facial expression, started to become verbal. The husband called the girl's parents and the ladies of both the families tried to convince the girl. The girl could say no to them.
Although husband had the nod of the girl, he once again waited for a few days. He once again approached her physically but she once again resisted him. The husband became the red faced and left the home in night itself. By next day morning, he was cool. He thought to take some suggestions from the 90 year old elders to resolve the issue.
The 90 year old elders told the husband that girls are brought up in such manner, so some feel guilty, some are in love with someone else and others resist when their partners are ugly. “Am I ugly?” the husband asked. The old men answered, '’Physical appearance is subjective, in this case how your wife views you is the deciding factor.”
The old man further continued, “Leaving your wife must be the last option because no one will marry her. Although it is not good to force anyone but in this case you might over-power her resistance, if the resistance is not that high.” That day husband breaks the resistance and virginity of the girl.
From the next day, the girl becomes violent and starts throwing the vessels whenever her husband enters the bedroom. The husband became angry and threatens to divorce. The girl's parents request the husband to not to leave the girl. Husband calls elders of his caste to bring out some conclusion.
After listening everything, the elders placed the blame on the girl.
One:
If you didn't like him why did you marry him?
Two:
Yes, your husband is not good looking. It's a god given feature. What would you do if you were born like that?
Three:
If you have done the compromise then consider doing it fully.
Four:
You should have shown the same kind of resistance when your parents were forcing you to marry him.
Five:
If you leave your husband and go back to your parents, it will bring a bad name to your parents.
Six:
You are the only daughter to your parents. Who will look after you after the death of your parents?
Seven:
Society is very evil towards the single women. Your life might become even worse.
Eight:
Even if you get another man, you won't be able to live your life like a normal woman.
Nine:
You are illiterate. It's hard to you to live in city and become self dependent.
Ten:
Your husband isn't that bad if you ignore his recent events.
The girl somehow agreed and lived with the husband for 6 more months. Her mental health slowly degraded. One day she jumped in the well and left the earth.
Now if you see carefully each and everyone in the above story has done some or the other mistake knowingly or unknowingly. Like we all do. Obviously, this is not Bollywood.
It's easy for us to read this answer and judge. But the truth is many would have cheated if they would have been in the place of the girl, including the ones who say I would never cheat. It's easy to say I won't beg when our stomach and fridge both are full. But the girl didn't cheat.
I firmly believe looks matter to a good extent. How many of you will date a girl or boy on social media without seeing the picture of your partner and marry him or her solely on the basis of character? The girl in the above story was not wrong. I am saying this after considering the fact that I was rejected for looks on one occasion.
You know what's more worse? While we are reading this answer, this story might be of either of our parents, siblings, friends or someone close to us. Living with a person you don't like is harder than you think. The compromise might have been made. Who knows if the comprises are being made under the umbrella of smiles we are seeing? We will never know.
“Not all sacrifices surface.”
Edit 1: If you think for a while, you will find second point is absurd.
Edit 2: Some are seeing the girl in bad light. Where has empathy gone?
In this story everyone was a little good and everyone did a few mistakes.
But think, who's life was more difficult. The girl's. If she continues the marriage her life is hell. If she doesn't continue the marriage, society makes her life hell.
· The man could have got another woman easily what about the girl?
· The whole point is are we able to create a society which evolves?
· Is it the girl's mistake that a single woman's life is hard in the society?
· Is it the girl's mistake that she was illiterate?
· Is it girl's mistake that woman are judged for coming out of marriage?
· Girls perceive sex in a different way than that the boys.
· Doesn't she deserve an option to come out of the marriage?
· If girl in city can be in a live in relationship and move out if it doesn't work then why shouldn't the girl in the story leave the marriage?
Yusuf Bhandarkar Email: multimediastudio9@gmail.com
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