My wife is just too attached to her family instead mine; this is often seriously ruining our marriage. She visits them a minimum of twice weekly amidst in lockdown or shutdown near or far doesn't matters. How do I handle this? This Question are common in every household no one cares for their inlaws or hubby as they are more interested in her mother father brother and sisters - those are the housewives those take care for each and everyone of inlaws the days are gone ???
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Hmm. Exactly we are dealing the identical case with my cousin's daughter. i do not know whether you've got same situation. this may be useful to you or not. Visiting for some hours per week isn't a giant issue. You too visit your people.
Her situation.
Both of them are working. Her parents stay near her house. His parents reside one hour distance.
She has one kid sister studying. He has one brother unmarried working.
Every weekend she likes to travel to her parents place. He also accustomed go together with her initially. Later he got bored and stopped going. Said there's all ladies gang, Fil is philosophical, nobody to speak there.
Then he started visiting his parent's house. Later every weekend his brother started coming to him. Both brothers would move out to movies or malls. Slowly his wife started getting irritated due to her brother in law's visits.
Then issues started. He says since she will be able to move to her parents, he also either could go or call his people or his friends. When she will decide her weekend, he also could do whatever he wants at weekend!
She accuses him of paying lot of cash on food and films. He says she is equally pin money on dresses and other things. She says he should occupy weekend and may be sure of house hold works . He says same rule should be applicable to her. Not only this. If he wants to eat something and tell her, immediately she's going to call her mother and her mom prepares and sends. He doesn't like that. He says. Making together also OK! But Whatever I ask her, why her mom should involve in that?
He insists he and his wife only should go together to movie or hotel . If she brings her family, he will call his family too. Finally it's springing up lot of expenditure. He thinks her parents involvement is becoming more in his life, his wife is getting influenced by them. rather than him she is preferring her parent’s company. If he says anything his wife and her mom starts crying.
Now he got a transfer to Hyderabad intentionally. My brother says, that is the neatest thing to happen. He too knows his wife is interfering and involving an excessive amount of in daughter’s life thereto extent, she started advising son in-law's parents too. She doesn't like if my brother says she is wrong.
The thing is that the daughter doesn't want to travel with him. She is born and remarked in Bangalore. She can't leave her parents for him. He says, three years are over they got married she doesn't even bother about her family and doesn't consider having their own kid. he's feeling he's living still his bachelor life.
We wonder who is wrong? Husband who let her visit her parents house too often? Or her mother who didn't make her daughter understand once married she should have more attachment along with her husband, because that's the intention of oldsters, behind doing kid's Marriage. Since they cannot bear kids forever they bring about a life partner in to their lives. in order that they should let grow that love, affection and attachments between their daughter and son-in-law. Or Husband should have said ‘no' to his wife's visits to her parents within the beginning it self and will have put restrictions?
We were figuring out our brains to prevent this marriage going from divorce.
Out side it appears as she is simply paying a visit to her parents..
But unknowingly the daughter is revealing more of her life to her parents Without her knowledge and a few times the remote of their life is gone in to her parents hands ,her husband says!!
Image Sources - One of the case i came across is working house girl having one kid and another one in process daily arrived at her parents house in this lockdown every day even on weekend saying as if i m going to my office although its work from home instead helping working at own house they are working for their parents not interested inlaws this is an awkward situation of this advanced world
Not only that. he said ' aunty! For working people weekend is precious. She doesn't put any effort to grasp that.’ if she doesn't go , immediately her mom calls! Says ‘you come and eat here and take lunch to your husband! Why your stupid daughter doesn't understand eating together is more important than eating actual lunch! Keep your darling daughter with you!!
We are breaking our heads..
Now I believe your case also may well be same.
Going to parents house looks very simplest, purest love and an innocent act. It's true it isn't a sin to go to one's parents. But you invited your partner promising him or her equal priority in your life. If you fail in this you recognize where it's heading. Parents ( both sides) also should realise, new sapling won't grow under a giant tree however it's encouraged to grow.
In your case, make it clear what you're feeling, hear her point and examine also. Then you opt.
Many do many things unintentionally. Girls are more emotionally attached to their parents. You just must plan some exciting things for both of you. Tell her parents you both produce other plans and visit sometime later. But if your wife is adamant, i do not think there are many options left. Or give her some longer. Or plan your own kids. If she is ignorant you'll make her realise. If she is innocent to know her role in your life, you ought to give her longer. If she is adamant!! you must choose your own reckoning on the bonding you both have.
Interesting Story one of its kind occurring in today's day to day life its became a trend.
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